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Indodana yami eneminyaka engu-10 isanda kuqala ukukhula.Kunesikhathi lapho ngangivele ngimkhethele izingubo zakhe noma ngimnike izinto eziningi kumzala wami, kodwa uyazifela ngemfashini futhi sekupholile manje.Ngaphandle kokuba ndawonye, ​​sibe nesikhathi esimnandi.Namuhla, awuvunyelwe ukusebenzisa igumbi lokugqoka.Uma ngimtshela ukuthi kufanele athenge usayizi wezingubo zokugqoka, angangikholwa!Ungumfana onama-scrawy, ngifuna ukuba umfana omncane kunabo bonke, futhi uyakhungatheka uma ngimtshela umuntu omkhulu kunalowo azama ukumkhetha.Ufuna izingubo ezincane kunazo zonke… Kodwa uneminyaka eyi-10 kuphela manje, futhi izingubo zezingane ezincane azifanelekile.Lapho sifika ekhaya, wagqoka usayizi engiwukhethile, uyangifanela, kodwa njalo lapho ngingumuntu omubi futhi nginqaba usayizi omncane, kwakuzoba umgoqo esitolo.Uma usayizi owugqokile umncane kakhulu futhi mncane kakhulu, kungani usayizi uhlukile esitolo?Ngingathini ukuxazulula lokhu kungaboni ngaso linye ngaphandle kokumlimaza?Kungani ephikelela ekugqokeni izingubo ezincane kangaka?
Usucabange ukuthenga izingubo eziningi ku-inthanethi?Njengoba kunikezwe ukuthi indodana yakho ngeke ikwazi ukuzama izingubo egunjini lokushintshela ngo-2020, kubonakala sengathi ungakugwema ukuchayeka kanye nokushayisana komphakathi, noma ngabe kusho ukuthi uzophuthelwa ukuyothenga izingubo ezithokozisayo.Inqubomgomo yokubuyisela okungenazinkinga yezitolo eziningi ze-inthanethi ngokuvamile isho ukuthi udinga kuphela ukuthenga amabhulukwe amabili epheya ngalinye, elilodwa ngosayizi omncane, bese ubuyisela ibhulukwe ngesikhathi sokuthenga.Le nkinga ingaxazululeka kalula .Vuma ngokungananazi ukuthi abezindaba bafaneleka kakhulu.(Esinye isixazululo: mane u-ode abezindaba bese usika ilebula ngaphambi kokuthi ayibone.)
Ngiyavuma ukuthi umfana oneminyaka engu-10 usondelene kakhulu ngokomzwelo kunoontanga bakhe abancane.Angicabangi ukuthi udinga ukuxilonga ingane yakho ngokushesha ukuthi inanoma yikuphi ukuphazamiseka kokudla noma ukukhubazeka ngokomzimba, kodwa ngizoyinakisisa indlela ezizwa ngayo futhi ikhulume ngomzimba wayo ekuqaleni kokuthomba, nokuthi uyaqhubeka yini nokubonisa ukunganeliseki kwakhe. umzimba kanye nobumina Umehluko phakathi kwemibono kufanelekile ukuxoxa nomelaphi.
Nokho, ngenxa nje yombono wakhe onenkani, izizukulwane eziningana zabazali ziye zaxazulula inkinga yobukhulu bengane ngamagama amane omlingo: “Uzokhula.”Ngaso sonke isikhathi uma le nkinga iphakama, ngiphakamisa ukuthi uwasebenzise.
Uma sicabangela konke okwenzeka emhlabeni, lokhu akuyona indaba ekhathazayo kakhulu, kodwa sisebenza kanzima ukucabangela isici sesikhala nomntwana omusha.Mina nomyeni wami sibheke ngabomvu ingane yethu yesibili ngoMashi.Sinendodana eneminyaka emi-2, ezoba neminyaka emibili nengxenye lapho ingane entsha ifika.Indlu yethu inamakamelo amabili okulala esitezi sesibili, futhi indawo ephakeme eqediwe ekugcineni izoba elinye lamagumbi ezingane.Indlu yokugezela yezingane isesitezi sesibili eduze kwegumbi lendodana yami.Manje, indodana yethu isekamelweni eliseduze nathi.Cishe ezinyangeni eziyisithupha ngemva kokuzalwa, umntwana omusha uzobe esegumbini lethu, kodwa-ke ucabanga ukuthi iyiphi impendulo engcono kakhulu?Indodana yethu izokwenza ukuqeqeshwa kwamabhodwe lapho umntwana ephuma ekamelweni lethu, uma simyisa ekamelweni le-attic, uzodinga ukushayela izitebhisi eziphakeme ukuya endlini yangasese ebusuku.Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma sibeka umntwana omusha ekamelweni eliphezulu, sizodla sibheke phansi.Ingabe sizofaka umntwana ekamelweni elingaphansi kuze kube yilapho indodana yami ikhula futhi ithola ngokugcwele ukuqeqeshwa kwebhodwe?Ngikhathazeka ngezinguquko ezimangalisayo lapho igumbi liba likhulu, kodwa ngifuna ingane yami endala ibe negumbi elingaphansi ophahleni lwendlu isikhathi eside.Ekugcineni, ucabanga ukuthi yiliphi ikhambi elingcono kakhulu?
O, ilula kakhulu.Beka ingane endlini engaphansi.Uzobonga ngebanga elincane elengeziwe, futhi indodana yakho izojabula ngokuthi ngeke kusaba khona izinguquko ezinkulu ekuphileni kwayo osekuzoshintsha.Ukuguqulwa phakathi neminyaka embalwa kuzoba lula, ngoba umntwana uzothola umbhede omncane womfowabo omdala kanye negumbi lomfowethu omdala, kuyilapho umfowabo omdala ezoba nesikhala sakhe phezulu, esizolungiswa ngokucophelela ukuze sibonise izithakazelo zakhe, Futhi simhlomise. enombhede omkhulu futhi omuhle ongashadile.
Esikhathini esingangonyaka esidlule, umndeni womyeni wami wasinikeza umdlalo omncane omuhle njengesipho sezingane ezincane.Ngethemba ukuthi basebenzise imali eningi.Sasikhathazekile ngokugxambukela kwamasiko futhi sanquma ukukugcina ngemva kwezingxoxo ezimbalwa.Sikhuluma ngenkuthalo mayelana nokucwasa nezingane, zisencane kakhulu ukuqonda ukuthi kungani singakhululekile ngezipho.Umama uhlale engitshela ukuthi uma upha umuntu isipho, kuyintando yakhe futhi ubuza ngokudelela.Kodwa-ke, ugogo wami wesifundazwe akabonakali abelana ngaleli nani.Ngonyaka odlule, ubelokhu ebuza umyeni wami ukuthi kungani ingekho kunoma yiziphi izithombe esizithumelayo.Umyeni wami wayevame ukuphakamisa lolu daba ngokuthi asinayo indawo eyanele, okungase kube yisixazululo esingcono kakhulu.
Kodwa-ke, sesithuthile futhi manje kunendawo-manje unenkinga yokulwela ukuthi kungani singakayilungisi.Umkhwekazi wami angase ashaqeke ngokucwasa kwakhe, nakuba ngikholelwa ukuthi sonke sinezinkolelo zobandlululo futhi kumelwe sisebenze kanzima ukuze sinqobe lezi zinkolelo.Ngimzwile ekhuluma ngami, nakuba ingekho incazelo ecacile.Ngaleso sikhathi, ngamkhuthaza ngokusobala ukuba acabangele ayekusho, okwakubonakala kumdida kancane.Kodwa ngicabanga ukuthi isimo sithe ukuhluka.Wasipha izipho ayecabanga ukuthi ziyathandeka.Ungakwazi yini ukucabanga indlela yokuxazulula le nkinga kuyilapho ugcina ubuhlobo bethu naye buqinile?
Yebo, unelungelo ngokuphelele lokutshela umama wakho ukuthi aweneliseki ngesipho asinikeze ingane yakho.Ngokufanelekile, kufanele nikhululeke ngokwanele nomunye nomunye ukuze ingxoxo phakathi kwezinhlangothi zombili ibe lula futhi ingabi namaphutha.Ungase uthi, “Uyazi, ngike ngazifunda ezinye izincwadi, futhi asifuni nje ukufaka iphepha endlini ngoba lisusa incazelo yokubukelwa phansi kwamasiko angewona amhlophe.”Ungase ucaphune umbhali womdabu Lesi sihloko sichaza ukuthi ungakanani umonakalo ongase ubangelwe yilokhu kwephulwa kwamasiko ngisho nasezinkundleni ezibonakala zingenangozi njengamathoyizi ezingane.
Eqinisweni, wawungaba nengxoxo nomamezala wakho lapho ekupha isipho esikhathini esingangonyaka esidlule.Ngethemba ukuthi usunayo!Lokho kungaba lula kakhulu.Manje, usuchithe unyaka uphambukisa isicelo sakhe sezipho zabazukulu bakhe abathandekayo azodlala nabo.Ngokubona kwami, lezi zicelo zinengqondo ngokuphelele uma kungesona isicelo sikamama wakho.Imuphi ugogo ongafuni ukubona lezo zithombe?Umyeni wakho ubanjwe amanga phakathi komama ohlukumezekile emoyeni nonkosikazi ebonakala engamthandi umama wakhe ngoba indawo yokunikeza amathiphu akwanele, manje usuhlala endaweni enkulu, futhi amanga avela obala. .
Ngiyakukhuthaza ukuthi utshele umkhwekazi wakho iqiniso ngoThiphi ngokucacile nangomusa.Indlela enobungane iwukukhuluma naye futhi unqume uhambo ozodlula kulo nakanjani esikhathini esithile, kusukela ekucabangeni ukuthi amathoyizi afana namathoyizi akwa-Tippi akanangozi ukuya ekuboneni ukuthi kuwumbono omubi, hhayi njengawo wonke umuntu okhanyiselwe njengoba nje uqonda lo mqondo wakhe.Ngaphandle kwalapho zingekho izibonelo ezisobala zokungabekezelelani nokungaziphathi kahle encwadini yakho, umamezala wakho ubukeka njengomuntu osekhulile omnandi, ovamile, nakuba kungase kungabi kuhle njengomama wakho, kodwa akufanele kwamukelwe Ukwelashwa Kwamazinyo. .Incwadi yakho isho ukuthi ufuna ukumnika yona.
Ubhekana kanjani nemizwa yakho yokudumazeka njalo, ukuthethiswa, noma okunye okuhlangenwe nakho okungekuhle ngengane yakho?Mina nomyeni wami sisebenza isikhathi esigcwele ekhaya futhi asinalo usizo lokunakekela izingane, ngakho ingane yethu eneminyaka engu-6 ubudala ingakwazi ukuzijabulisa amahora ambalwa kuphela ngesikhathi.Lesi sici esisanda kuthuthukiswa siyintuthuko enkulu ezinyangeni ezimbalwa zokuqala ngihlala ekhaya, ngenkathi ngizama ukufuna ukunakwa kwami ​​ngendololwane yakhe elindile.Akazange azivikele ngokugcwele-ngangimbuka njalo ngemizuzu engu-20 noma ngaphezulu (noma kaningi uma ethule), futhi saba nesikhathi esinqunyiwe sika-1:1 usuku lonke.Ukhuluma yedwa, udlala amathoyizi, udweba izithombe, usike iphepha libe yizicucu eziyisigidi, futhi usebenzisa inqwaba yamateyipu.Kuyamangalisa.Kodwa futhi wenza izinto eziningi okwakungafanele azenze: ukupenda ezindongeni, ukusebenzisa iglue ehlukahlukene (ingcina, umuthi wokuxubha, isicoci sesandla, ishampoo, ngisho nebhodlela lokuvikela ilanga) kuzo zonke izindawo ezithintekayo, ukugunda izinwele Zakhe, phungula izingubo zakhe. , shiya izinyembezi ezitshalweni, njll.
Ngiyabona, unesicefe.Ngizama ukudedela lezi zinto ezincane, ngimvumele asize ekuhlanzeni ukungcola, futhi ngimlungise kuphela lapho enza okuthile okumosha ngempela noma okuyingozi.Ngazama ukwenza lokho engangikulindele kucace futhi ngamnikeza imigudu egunyaziwe yokudideka, ukuhlola kanye nokucekela phansi imbala.Ngikholwe, ngiyaqaphela ukuthi lokhu kuzwakala kungagculisi-abaculi besimanje abasafufusa/ama-anarchist/abenzeli besiphithiphithi abafuni ukuphuma kwesiphithiphithi esigunyaziwe.Ekuhlaziyeni kokugcina, kuzwakala sengathi ubudlelwano phakathi kwethu bebulokhu buhlala njalo, njengokuthi, cha, ungakwenzi lokho, ungahlanzi manje, ngicela ungachithi, ungakwenzi lokho.Naye wayelokhu engibuka, sengathi ngimqeda wonke amathuba akhe enjabulo emhlabeni.Ngizizwa ngidelelekile, njengenduku odakeni, futhi ngikhathele yilo.ngisize!
Lo nyaka ube unyaka onzima kuwo wonke umuntu, kodwa kube unyaka omubi kakhulu kubazali bezingane ezincane.Izingane zami sezindala kangangokuba umgilingwane ezihlangana nazo egumbini “uzovutha ku-Reddit” esikhundleni sokuthi “zimboze udonga lokuvikela ilanga”-lokhu kusenzima, kodwa akudidekile kangako.
Ngicabanga ukuthi ingane yakho eneminyaka engu-6 ubudala ingase ilahle “Indoda” kangangokuthi izokwenqaba noma iyiphi “indlela engcolile evunyelwe yokuphuma”, kodwa ngicabanga ukuthi ungase ube nesibikezelo.Iningi lezingane ezineminyaka engu-6 ngeke lixakeke ngoba zingama-Antifa.Njengoba ushilo, bayadida ngoba bayabhora.Futhi kungenzeka ngokuphelele ukuhlanganisa izikhathi nezindawo ezigunyaziwe ukuze izinxushunxushu zibe izimpilo zabo ngaphandle kokuzivala.Ungase ucabange ukubeka itafula le-slime elikhethiwe ekamelweni lakhe elinemiphetho ephakanyisiwe, noma ukupenda izindonga zakhe ngopende webhodi, noma ukumboza phansi ngethawula futhi umemezele nsuku zonke Dlala emanzini ngo-2 ntambama.
Uma abazali bakho bekhungathekile njengawe, konke ukuxhumana kwakho kuyalungisa.Kodwa ngifuna ukukukhumbuza ukuthi lokhu akunjalo, yebo, labo abanamathele enhliziyweni yakho, kodwa ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi isikhathi esisodwa sosuku akusona nje isiqalekiso.Unikeza uthando oluningi nokusekelwa kumuntu osafufusa we-abstract expressionist, okuzobonakala ngokuqinisekile ku-biopic yakhe eqokwe nge-Oscar.
Okokugcina: Ushilo ukuthi wena nomyeni wakho nobabili nisebenza ekhaya, kodwa wabe esenyamalala ezincwadini zenu ezisele.Nginesiqiniseko sokuthi uzoveza ikhanda lakhe njalo emizuzwini engu-20 ukumvimbela ukuthi amboze ikati ngopholishi wezicathulo, akunjalo?Uma kungenjalo, sicela umkhumbuze ukuthi akulungile ukuba uwena kuphela umuntu olahla u-Little Jackson ngokumboza i-duvet nge-ketchup, njengoba nje kungafanele kube uwena kuphela umuntu ocabanga ukuthi ungayichitha kanjani impilo yendodakazi yakho ujabule ngangokunokwenzeka.
Ku-podcast yabazali kaSlate ethi “Umama nobaba bayalwa,” inganekwane yebhola u-Abby Wambach muva nje uphendule umbuzo ovela kubazali bengane eneminyaka engu-4 ubudala “eyayiyintshatsheli ngendlela engavamile”.Intshiseko eqinile yezemidlalo.
“Ngicabanga ukuthi uma izingane ziphuma enkundleni yebhola, sihlanganyela izinto ezintathu nazo.Okokuqala: Ngithanda ukukubuka udlala.Isikhathi.Okwesibili: Uzizwa unjani?Uzizwa kanjani lapho?Okwesithathu: Yini oyifundile namuhla Yini obungayazi ngaphambili?Yilokho kuphela.Ngemuva komdlalo webhola, udinga nje ukutshela izingane zakho lokhu, ngoba zikhona ezinye izinto.Ubatshela ngokungaqondile ukuthi uthando lwakho luncike ekutheni bahle noma babi.Izinxushunxushu enkantolo.Lonke uhlelo lwezemidlalo ukwenza amaphutha, ukuzwana, ukwenza amaphutha nokuzwana.”
Ukuze uthole impendulo ephelele ka-Wambach, lalela iziqephu zakamuva futhi ubhalisele “Umama Nobaba Bayalwa” noma kuphi lapho ulalela khona i-podcast.
Amalungu e-Slate Plus athola izeluleko ezengeziwe zokukhulisa izingane masonto onke.Baphinde basize ekusekeleni ubuntatheli bukaSlate.
Uphelelwe izindatshana zamahhala.Joyina i-Slate Plus ukuze uqhubeke nokufunda, uzoba nokufinyelela okungenamkhawulo kuwo wonke umsebenzi wethu futhi usekele ubuntatheli obuzimele be-Slate.Ungakhansela nganoma yisiphi isikhathi.
I-Slate ishicilelwe yi-Slate Group ye-Graham Holdings Company.Konke okuqukethwe ©2020 Slate Group LLC.wonke Amalungelo Agodliwe.
I-Slate incike ekukhangiseni ukuze isekele ubuntatheli bethu.Uma uwazisa umsebenzi wethu, sicela ukhubaze isivimbeli sakho sesikhangiso.
Joyina i-Slate Plus, uzosekela umsebenzi wethu futhi uthole okuqukethwe okukhethekile.Futhi ngeke uphinde uwubone lo mlayezo.
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